Saffa Dude's

Saffa Dude

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

10 Hottest Females of 2008

It's a bit late, but what the heck it needs to be done. Here are the Saffa Dude's picks for the 10 Hottest Females of 2008.

10. Rihanna
Apparently in her native Barbados they have a holiday every year in her honour, now there's a bit of recognition for ya! We're guessing it's not just because she's their biggest pop export ever and not a one-umbrella-wonder, but also that she has a body that puts Britters to shame!

9. Bar Rafaeli
The Israeli model has taken a leaf out of Gisele's book by dating Leonardo Di Caprio. Let's hope it brings her more fame and puts her on the cover of way more magazines! She makes our list as she is a long time favourite in the annual SA Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition (a publication which Saffadude is very much a fan of). This year was another top edition. Kudos to Bar and to SASI.

8. Ana Ivanovic
Saffadude's interest in Wimbledon 2008 waned dramatically when Miss Ivanovic was knocked out early on. Nevertheless, she is a massive talent, having already made it as an FHM covergirl. Oh yes, she isn't too bad at tennis either.

7. Cheryl Cole
She may be married to one of the biggest tits in Premiership football, but 2008 has proved that Cheryl demands a spotlight of her own. Whether it's boosting single male viewership to the X Factor or gyrating on stage with Girls Aloud, Cheryl is just being all the Geordie that she can be!

6. Olga Kurylenko
If, like Saffadude, you sat anticipating the credits of Quantam of Solace and then went, 'Wait. Who?', don't worry we expect this name to be around some more. Rumoured to be the first Bond girl to ever be asked to reprise her role (no Judi Dench doesn't count). Olga is Ukranian-born and doesn't believe in body doubles. She is also twice divorced at the age of 29. Fiesty!!

5. Lindsay Lohan
The good-girl-gone-bad fantasy kicked itself up a notch in 2008! LiLo became a lesbian! While we all wish she had picked a hotter partner to embark with on her maiden voyage of lesbian discovery, there is no doubt that Lindsay has grabbed a lot of attention back from the rest of the tabloid-loving Hollywood slut-pack. Crashing your SUV under the influence is SOO last year...

4. Kate Hudson
It's no wonder she has guys on the brink of suicide when she dumps them. Sorry Owen. Kate is smoking hot and proved it in her swimsuit in Fool's Gold early in 2008. Keep those intellectual stimulators coming our way!

3. Jessica Alba
Yeah so what if she had a kid this year. We don't feel we need to remind you that Jessica is only 27 and easily one of the hottest women on the planet and will be for quite a few more years.

2. Gisele Bundchen
Gisele has it all; she's the world's highest paid model, is on the covers of women's magazines everywhere and is now engaged to Tom Brady, the treble-Superbowl-winning Patriot's Quarterback and all around Mr America. And here's something I bet you didn't know she had – a twin sister!! Who is also a model!! Hot!! Well she doesn't quite have everything as she doesn't have the Number 1 on our list...

1. Megan Fox
That God chose to create something as hot as Megan is a blessing to us all! Well, we have further good tidings, she is set to grace the big screen at least three times in 2009! This busy girl has been named in several upcoming productions including the Transformers 2, as you should remember it was the first film of the series that brought her to us. Here's to a top year ahead people!

Other names worth putting in the hat: Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Kiera Knightly, The Shannon Twins, Petra Nemcova. Good luck for 2009 girls!

Contributed by: The Pink Salmon

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SAA crew in hot water over drug haul

According to the BBC Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs is questioning 15 crew members of an SAA flight at Heathrow airport. The reason: A drug haul of 50kg of cannabis and 4kg of cocaine. Whoever the one or several person(s) are, that is involved in the smuggling, definitely needs to be nominated for a Darwin award in 2009.

The drugs were discovered at a customs checkpoint on Tuesday. Now in my travel and customs experience, I would not have picked Heathrow to bring the contraband through. But maybe its just me being efficient in forward thinking. Maybe its just because I am a law abiding citizen, but I will also not try and walk through Heathrow with (what customs value at) £310,000 worth of illegal substances.

The next question that has to be asked, is why do they get to take 50+kg's of luggage when they only stay at their destination for a few days and only get a disgraceful 20+kg's allowance when I go on holiday for several weeks.

All that is left to be said is: You bloody numbnut(s).

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Monday, January 12, 2009

England sack 'The Ego'

Nothing fills me with more warmth and all-round well-being than Kevin Pietersen being put in his place. And the English Cricket Board has done that this week!

A crisis emerged in England's management when reports surfaced that the new captain did not see eye-to-eye with coach Peter Moores. Pietersen, as his ego demands, stated that either Moores had to go or he would... And the ECB's response was priceless: 'Nobody gives us ultimatums, on yer bike son.'

I don't know what it will take for old KP to learn that he's not bigger than the game, but let's hope those lessons are extremely painful! The man is a first class twat. Of course the minute you moan about him the English stress to point out that we are just jealous that he's not playing for SA. Hmm.. All I can say is that if he were currently playing for the Proteas, I'd be facing an awful conundrum on whether to continue to give my support to the team. At times, let's face it, even Graeme Smith is a but much to stomach. Whilst arrogance does seem to be a useful tool in world cricket, just look at how well the Aussies exploit it, I think there are times, plenty of times, when the players should just shut up and let their talent do the talking.

My opinion is that yes the guy has talent. But he is too full of himself and is obviously not a team player. Basically he's a knob. And while we are on the subject, he claims that he left South Africa because he had been unfairly treated by the Quota System. Yet if you look at the fact that his debut for Nottinghamshire was at age 21 and he never looked back from there, what exactly was he expecting at home at that young age? Obviously if the talent was there he would have worked his way onto the national scene, but you have to earn your stripes when you live in a country ripe with talent. No, that was too much for The Ego. He preferred to get three lions tattooed to his arm – as if that proves anything other than how much of a tool you are.

I'm sure England and its fans will be quick to forgive him for once again showing off what a knob he is, after all he's their only genuine hope with the bat! But, it's nice to see that even they can cut him down to size.

Have your say in our Vote section in the far right column.

Contributed by: The Pink Salmon

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